Spiking the Ball on Retards

About 6 weeks ago, i was writing about how i almost felt like a bike racer again, all was well, i think i may have had a glimmer of fitness even. Now - well now i don't think i would even make the cut in the tryouts for 'fat guys with remote controls' Olympics. like how i worked in the Olympic with some form of electronic device there? wauka wauka?)
So everyone that was asking where i have been, i thank you for the concern - but i have been busy with birthday parties, vacations, and post vacation laziness.
Back in the swing again now though, a few good days of commuting, and of course that brings some stories.
Anyone that rides their bike to work, or has done so in the past knows that although the ride is enjoyable, it is usually done solo, and usually pretty monotonous. Anytime you have the chance to ride with someone else for even a small portion of your commute, its a good day. As a whole, cyclists generally waive, now, lift a hand, etc to acknowledge another biker on the road.
I have mentioned in the past that the city brings all sorts of genres of cyclist out on the roads, and each has a hierarchy of waive-ability to another rider. Today, i am less then 5 minutes from my house, out in the suburbs, where commuters are a much less common site. Some dude on a mountain / city hybrid comes rollin past me so of course i take note and say MORNIN!, loud enough that if he was on the other side of the road, he would have heard me. NO RESPONSE. wtf?
so i take note of the rider, bright yellow jacket, gortex / rian pants of some nature, and realize its a goober. Man its like 67 degrees and even myself as the most overdressed man in the peloton is wearing a jersey and shorts. Now the funny part, so he is riding down the middle to left hand side of the road, not just to pass me, but riding there.. kinda strange. The first time he looked over his shoulder at me i thought nothing of it, but the second time he had to look bit more and it was then i realized i could Spike the Ball on a Retard. The dude swerved and almost bashed the curb, he was proud to roll past a fellow biker on the ride in.
The Enmark has long been a great resource for wit, cynicism and generally fun sayings. Some of my Favorites include 'You can't fix Stoooopid', Douche nozzle and one of my recent favorites, that when you beat up on some guys that are lacking in ability - to "dont spike the ball when you beat up on retards", or for short Dont spike the ball on retards.
Back to the commuting story - so after yellow jacket mas has about taken himself out in an effort to get past me, i decide im going to crush his dreams, shift one gear, lift the rpms's to about 100 and roll past him. The overpass for 290 was all i needed to bust out a whopping 250 watts, and ditch rain pants man.
Gotta love spiking the ball on retards - sometimes!